How Codependency Impacts Us

Tamara Low

Emotional Freedom Guide, Writer, Planet Advocate.

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on email
Share on linkedin

Codependency programming ensures that our identity, love, validation, approval, peace, and sense of safety rely solely on others. Codependency Impacts us in numerous ways, including:

  • We falsely believe that other people and situations are responsible for our happiness or lack thereof.
  • We completely abandon ourselves and our wounded (and deeply afraid) inner child(ren) for the sake of others.

This can feel like an emotional, psychological, and physical prison that may come to feel like this is how things will always be, that it’s somehow our fate. Gratefully, I know from personal experience that it does not have to be!

Codependent Empaths

Codependent Empaths tend to be hypersensitive to everything in their surroundings. They deeply feel, notice, and are impacted by subtle nuances in others, their energy, state of mind, mannerisms, gestures, tone of voice, disapproval, criticism etc. This provides them with constant feedback regarding their safety, lovability, worth, etc. and affects them, their behaviour and their nervous system in very deep and profound ways!

Stacy Hoch distinguishes between a Codependent and an Empath, saying, “the Codependent is the fixer, and the Empath is the healer. We have to be with another person to be Codependent, but this is not the case for being an Empath.”

Codependency can be described as (but not limited to):

  1. An external dependency on others for acceptance, validation, approval, and to feel good about ourselves. 
  2. Not having your own solid identity, becoming void of ourselves for the sake of someone else. 

Please see “What is Codependency” for more!

How Codependency Might Impact Our Lives:

  • We seek permission from others. 
  • Our self-esteem is validated by what we do and others’ opinions of us. 
  • We can struggle to meet our own needs. 
  • Asserting oneself is almost impossible.
  • We create behaviours that assist in denying, ignoring or preventing difficult emotions. 
  • Can be very self-destructive and self-sabotaging as being self-abusive is what we were taught. 
  • Codependents often isolate themselves; deep core shame and loneliness are at the heart. 

The impact of Codependency Programming

Lisa A. Romano says children love without the gift of objectivity; they ARE love, so children who experience rejection and abandonment love those who hurt, abuse and push them away. They never outgrow that desire to be loved by an energy whose vibrations match the person who abandoned them.

However, they needed to be taught to love, be cared for, respect themselves and feel worthy and deserving of love. Often a parent or caregiver was hurt and wounded and did not have this to give to us or show their child(ren). Regardless, it is foundational to a healthy sense of self and healthy relationships!

Without this kind of objectivity in place, says Romano:

Wounded adults are doomed to love without boundaries, limits and objectivity. This makes us targets for narcissists (and narcissistic abuse), sociopaths, and psychopaths- on a conscious level, we experience the other as a soulmate. However, far beyond their conscious awareness are the deeper and darker feelings of dysfunctional familiarity.”

Lisa A Romano. The Breakthrough Life Coach. YouTube.

This is SOOOOOO pivotal to know and understand on our healing and awareness journey!!

It does not have to be this way!

According to Lisa Romano, Codependents learn early that ‘we do not have the right to our feelings, that it is not ok to have a need, a want, to cry or say no.’ We learned that we needed to comply, be easy, no trouble, invisible, good, and to smile instead of cry. This is something that I definitely absorbed as a child and have been unravelling and releasing that old story and energy hold!

Emotional Freedom Techniques can gently assist us in releasing the energy baggage of the early (and anytime) false and limiting beliefs about ourselves, worth, safety and livability!

My passion is to offer energetic and educational support to others on their wholeness journey and heal the places where codependency impacts us and our lives, with the ultimate goal of reacquainting with our TRUE selves, frequency power, health, voice inner peace!

Reach out and schedule your free 15-minute call today or email tamara@innerempath.com

See the sister articles to this one, “What is Codependency”, “Healing and Understanding Codependency.

If you are interested in a list of “Codependent Thoughts and Beliefs to Tap On” (please click on the link).

Sign Up For New Articles

Receive by email my latest newsletter/articles

Earth Path EFT

Transforming Ecological & Climate Sorrow, Grief, Anxiety

MANY of us have a very deep and sacred connection to the Earth that we call HOME, and our deepest desire is for her to THRIVE as we live in harmony with her, care for her, make decisions based on her health and well-being and desire for ALL of life and her inhabitant to live in balance and harmony; biodiversity, ecosystems, animals, trees, plants, insects, clean air, clean water, healthy abundant food, healthy soils, healthy conscious, aware humans, etc.

The FACT is- SHE has tolerated A LOT of harm from humans! Indigenous people respect her at the deepest level and live in harmony with her! SO sadly, they and their lands were harmed and exploited as they faced those with the opposite view of the Earth and living in harmony. Their agenda being the insatiable need for power, control, greed and domination, which continues today. 

We are at a crossroads. The Earth and her inhabitants are in turmoil. Humanity is in turmoil. These are intense times!

This brings up A LOT of emotions such as – grief, sorrow, sadness, despair, hopelessness, overwhelm, and confusion. How did we stray SO far away from balance, peace, centre, the Earth’s wisdom, guidance, and healing?

We feel and see the collective fear, doom, gloom, and panic everywhere we turn; we are bombarded with bad and scary news. It is hard to stay positive, hopeful, joyful and alive within our beings when inundated with fear, dread, and collective uncertainty. 

With all of the difficulty in our hearts, we might:

-retread and try and push it away because it’s ALL too much, too overwhelming, scary, and too painful)

-or to take bold action and become involved and engaged. 

-or somewhere in between. 

 My passion is to assist and support those deeply concerned about the Earth, Climate, and Environment in healing our feelings and emotions with EFT so that we can take action in the direction of becoming more internally peaceful & able to cultivate hope as we put our energies into purposeful action, solutions & BEING a voice & advocate for this Planet! 

With Love and Purpose,

Tamara

Welcome to Inner Empath

My Inner Empath blog (and articles) are a love letter to Empaths and Highly Sensitive People who are so special and sacred to me!

Accepting and embracing this way of BEING in and experiencing the world has been very difficult for me. So I wrote to make sense of it, to grow and learn, and let others know that they were not alone in what I used to call “the vast wasteland of depth and emotions,” which is extra hard if you felt there was something innately wrong with you and that you were flawed in some way and how you are was an inconvenience to others. Fortunately, I no longer feel that way. 

I am passionate about honouring the deeply sensitive and attuned part of us and exploring and coming to accept the gifts that it brings not only to those that know us but to those we come in contact with and to the bigger picture of what we bring to the planet. I feel that sensitivity is so vital to the vibrant health of families, societies and the planet. 

What I do know now is that:

We (HSP Empaths) are not meant to try and “fit in”; we are meant to SEE and FEEL and BE in the world from OUR unique perspective and soul’s purpose!! 

And I feel that our sensitivities enable us to be more attuned to people, animals, ecosystems and the planet, contributing to wanting to care for them and want them to be well. 

I see you, honour you, and I celebrate you and your beautiful, sensitive, empath nature! 

Love, 

Tamara