We are hardwired to connect and belong, and we are also free-flowing, Spiritual beings living Earthly lives constantly receiving inner and bodily ‘soul clues’ guiding us with inner yeses and no’s, highlighting what needs our attention, what feels joyful and expansive and what does not, and towards our next steps, all in service of creating a life in harmony and in line with what is authentic, meaningful and purposeful.
That is IF we are attuned to listening to or being able to hear and interpret these ‘soul clues’ through our inner layers that need tending.
What if we did not feel that connection?
For those of us who did not feel an early bonded safety anchor, resulting in a secure attachment, it can be very jarring, leaving a gaping hole and an undisruptable longing to be filled at all costs, throwing us off in all kinds of directions in its pursuit — ultimately leading us toward the necessity of developing a loving connection with ourselves.
The biological part of me yearns to connect deeply and belong in more of a close-up sense than a broader one. The Spirit part of me does not want to fit or belong in the status quo as it clearly sees the many places where humans are not aligned with balance, wholeness, love and peace. Therefore, choosing Spirit-led discovery in navigating this Earthly experience.
Being ourselves is being different!
There are endless ways we are beautifully unique!
And all of us have parts, places, accompanying shame, and maybe emptiness where we feel different, disconnected, and don’t fit.
In my view, society and our conditioning have placed too much emphasis on “fitting in,” conforming, controlling, demeaning, excluding, dividing and not nearly enough to celebrate authentic expression and encourage inner continuity, love, appreciation and care!
A BIG shift happened in my 20s where I no longer related to the life I had known before and the people in my life. I felt like I was observing the world from the outside. It was so disorienting that I went deep within to seek comfort in solace, where I got ‘stuck’ for decades.
Elaine Aron identified the innate trait of ‘High Sensitivity,’ or ‘Sensory Processing Sensitivity.”, where people (HSPs) process sensory stimuli and information more strongly and deeply than others — this is a trait I and many are born with — also, being an Empath, perceiving the energy and emotions of others used to cause me to feel strange, overwhelmed and very much on the outside.
This little tool helped me to fill the gaping hole of emptiness
EFT Tapping helps us gently and safely look at all the places in us that need our care and attention. To give a voice to and understand beliefs, hurt, pain, energy blocks, fears, etc., getting in the way and interpreting ‘soul clues,’ leading to joyful aliveness and bountiful health.
I feel lucky to do regular EFT Tapping swaps with fellow practitioners, who have become friends, which does not cost us any money (besides the initial training, which has paid for itself in dividends!).
Anita and I met last week, as we have every two weeks for the past three and a half years. It was my opportunity to bring what I wanted to look at within myself, and that was a real sense of not fitting or belonging (in most (but not all) places — which has caused me to unconsciously seek love and belonging where it was not!
The magic of imagery
During this session, I saw a sideways-laying egg shape (in my mind’s eye). As the session went on, the egg shape was then standing straight up, and two people, one smaller, wearing a yellow sweater and one bigger, wearing a red sweater, were standing in front of the now very tall egg shape, trying to figure out how to get in.
At first, there was nothing inside of it, then the ground inside filled with dirt, and I saw a sunflower appear right in the middle. Hmmm. I presumed the sunflower was me. The sunflower kept growing, and when it got to the top, it started growing around the upper barrier until the whole space was filled with greenery. Then, an opening at the top appeared and began to grow outside the egg shape.
The imagery, symbolism, and unfoldment were beautiful and powerful to watch as we continued to tap throughout. My ‘issue’ felt like a ten out of ten when we began and disappeared by the end. When this is not the case, it means more layers and aspects need to be addressed.
*Imagery is not always part of an EFT session, nor is it required for a resolution to occur.
How I felt after the session
I felt renewed, refreshed and re-energized, the three ‘re’s’- haha. The heavy wet cloud of hurt, pain, sadness and rejection from feeling like an outsider had dissipated.
Inching closer to fifty, I feel good about being who I am (now), which I have been working towards for many years. Embodying deep compassion, care and understanding for others, animals and the Earth and not desiring to fit where I don’t belong.
I align with people and systems that are in harmony with this way of being. As a result, my friendships, connections, pods, and pockets out in the world are deep, strong, and authentic.
Feeling an early sense of belonging can be a powerful catapult to our True selves. Many of us, to find our way have to clumsily fumble and roll around in the mud for a (long) while.
Humanity has created a cultural construct of belonging, often to make a group or person feel more powerful or important and to get people to do what they want — Stemming from control or spoken or unspoken expectation, not true belonging.
We belong by the very nature of being created by a vast universe.
Our incredible differences, talents, skills, ideas, abilities, free-thinking, soul way of BEING, etc., are necessary for a healthy whole.
True belonging sees and accepts us for who we ARE and safely draws us into its loving and welcoming arms.